Dottie’s Birth

I feel I should start this post by giving you a quick recap of Eadie’s birth, so that you can understand the difference between the two experiences I had.
birth photos first 48 hours big sister meeting new sibling
On Thursday morning at 3am-3 days overdue I went into labour naturally at home.
My contractions were quite close together, but as the morning went on they started to stretch out.
At 5pm that afternoon I seen my obstetrician who did an internal to find I was 3cm dilated, and also gave me a stretch and sweep.
By 7pm that night I was having constant contractions and made my way up to the hospital.Β  After a short while they sent Daniel home for the night, and told him to return in the morning. I spent all night labouring, asking for pain relief to be told I wasn’t far enough along (and they obviously knew I had a long way to go!)
Daniel come back the following morning, I wasn’t progressing so they said they were going to have to put the drip in.
10am they broke my waters, and were going to put the drip in but that kick started everything.
By then I was already exhausted, I hadn’t slept a second that night, and was up since 3am the morning before.
I didn’t think I could do it, I was exhausted, I thought I was going to die the pain was so bad. With each contraction I remember just screaming in agony, I kept dry reaching but nothing was coming up because I hadn’t eaten in so long. I kept telling myself, you’ll get through this, but you’ll never be able to do this again-it’s way too hard.

I used the gas and had pethidine, which I thought did absolutely nothing for the pain.

She ended up getting stuck, they gave me a local anesthetic and then an episiotomy. Because I was numb, I didn’t get that feeling of her coming out. She was just there all of a sudden and put on my chest.
birth2This was at Friday afternoon at 4.40pm-over 36 hours later.

I remember being so out of it, I was thinking I can’t hold this baby I’m going to drop it.
birth
I had to be wheeled to the maternity ward, and even for days afterwards I felt so out of it, my whole entire body ached, and I was so sore downstairs I could barely sit.

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Take note of how different I look between the two after birth photos here too…..

So, now that you’ve got an understanding of my first experience of child birth, let me enlighten you on the amazing experience of birthing Miss Dottie Tonkin.

I had been worried about the sizing of my stomach for weeks, I was also losing weight rather then gaining.
190220_Dottie Birth_118At my 40 week appointment (39+6 days) my obstetrician measured my stomach, which had gone right down to only measuring at 34 weeks. He did a scan and seen that I had very low fluid. He spoke about inducing me, then mentioned something about the placenta not working. I told him how when Eadie was born, my placenta was really gritty and that made him even more concerned. He rang the ward and they could get me that night to start the process, and then the drip be administered the following morning. I was happy with that, my bags were packed and I was ready to go whenever. I just wanted the safest option for my baby. He did an internal and I was already 2-3cm dilated so I didn’t need to go in that night-he did a stretch and sweep and sent me home.
newborn birth photo
I was to ring at 6am the following morning to confirm I could come in that day.
I rang Daniel when I got out to the car-“we’re having a baby tomorrow!”
I rang my Mum to let her know she’d have to have Eadie, but I said we’d keep her for the night and she could come watch her the following morning.
I had a heap of cramping and lower back pain that evening after the stretch and sweep, but slept reasonable well.
I rang at 6am, and they told me the head Midwife was on her tea break and she’d call me back soon.
7.30am I got a phone call from her, saying they were pretty busy and once the Drs come on at 8am they’d assess the ward and let me know.
8.30am I got a phone call stating they were too busy for me to come in for an induction, and that they had booked me in for the following day at 1.30pm.
I wasn’t having a baby today….
So off Daniel went to work, and we continued on our day as normal.
hospital birth photo supportive partner
I had to ring the next day at 11am, to confirm they weren’t too busy again. I knew from 11am until 1.30pm was going to be the longest few hours of my life-so I left myself things to do to keep busy.
I was a bit concerned during the morning because the baby was really quite and I had felt barely any movements. I was going to voice my concern when I rang at 11.
11am rolled by and I made the phone call
“Oh we were just about to call you-can you come in right now!?”
Daniel was at work still, I hadn’t showered, I needed to pack a bag for Eadie and my Mum had to come to mine to watch her. I went into full panic mode.
My Mum got to mine, then drove me up to the hospital because Daniel was still travelling home from work.
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I was put onto the CTG for monitoring, which did show the babies movements had slowed down. A cannula was put in ready for the drip while I was being monitored.
At 1.45pm they attempted to break my waters-and by attempted, I mean the Midwife was scratching the top of the babies head and still no liquid was coming out. She asked me to stand up and walk around, which I did for ages and not a single drop of liquid come out-I must of really had low fluid!
first breastfeed after birth
3pm rolled on by, and they started the drip along with a course of antibiotics as I was GBS positive.
The contractions started almost instantly, and so did the urge to use the toilet!
Here I am in a room full of people (one being a young male student) needing to empty my bowels. So off I went, behind the curtain, apologizing to all the Midwives as I make my way in there.
Of course Daniel has to make the situation even more embarrassing by being a smart arse and yelling out “You’re f*&ked, I can’t believe you’re pooing in front of all these people!”-Thanks Daniel!
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I sat on the toilet for what felt like forever, every time I thought I was done another contraction would come and I’d be needing to go again.
With Eadie, I went through the bowel emptying stage in the comfort of my own home, not in front of a room full of people-but I’m sure they’re used to it….
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I ended up going and sitting on the arm chair in the room once I was finally done on the toilet. I started to feel nauseous which I was waiting to happen, and the Midwife gave me some maxalon which actually helped this time!
I was starting to have a panic attack, my legs started shaking uncontrollably-what had I got myself into, I can’t do this again, why have you done this!?
Just ask for a Caesarain Ruby, ask for an epidural now! Get yourself out now before the pain really kicks in!
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I had to calm myself down, I knew it was all in my head-I had read up on Birthing Hypnotherapy and I knew I had to keep a positive mind. I grabbed my essential oils and started really focusing on my breathing to help calm me down. I kept telling myself positive thoughts. You can do this Ruby, your body is perfectly capable of birthing a baby, you’ve done it before, your body is made for this, you’re a women and this is what you were created to do!
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With each contraction I just focused on taking deep breathes and relaxing (as much as you can relax while in that pain anyway)
The midwives commented that my breathing was extremely calming, so even if I was freaking out a little on the inside, I looked calm, cool and collected from the outside.
The panic attack eventually stopped.

With each contraction getting worse as they come I just kept telling myself
‘This is nothing Ruby, you’ve got soo much worse to come” over and over again with every one. I was in agony but didn’t ask for any pain relief as I was ‘preserving’ it for later on.
After some time I eventually asked if it was too early, or could I have some sort of pain relief?
“Of course!” the midwife said.
I remember thinking oh okay, with Eadie they made me wait forever until they’d give me anything. So I started using the gas.
fresh newborn birth photo
At one point I remember the Midwife saying
“Oh they’re coming on hard and fast now Ruby”-and I was thinking, are they? I feel like we’ve only just started. They kept turning the drip down.
Next minute, I’m having another contraction while in the armchair, and my body starts pushing.
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“Umm, do you want to hop up on the bed now?” the Midwife asked.
“I need to push” I said-thinking this can’t be right-that’s why they must be turning down the drip, its sending messages to my body that aren’t right.
I felt perfectly fine in between contractions, I was talking and asking for a drink.
I had a couple more contractions while laying on the bed, one of which I blacked out with…
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I was sucking on the gas (too hard obviously) when my body went limp, I remember my hand dropping the gas and feeling like I was floating on a cloud, everything went black and I thought I had died-I swear I even heard the ‘beeeeeep’ of a machine like in the movies. I just remember thinking, thank god that pains gone though!
I could hear this fuzzy noise, which slowly got clearer and clearer-it was the Midwifes voice “Did I turn the gas up too much Ruby?” she said.
“yep….” I replied, high as anything.
She must of mentioned something about another contraction or the baby, because I said “Is it not out yet!?” and they all laughed.
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Another contraction started and I was wide awake again.
It was at this point that I said
“Now, I’m just reminding you all before I die and can’t speak anymore-remember the photographer!” I had told them all about it earlier on-Daniel knew what he had to do when the Midwives told him it was time to get her there.
But I had hours and hours to go still…..well so I thought.
The Midwife looked at Daniel and said
‘Ahh, the photographers not going to make it-she’s 15 minutes off”
15 minutes!!!!
No way, this has been nothing compared to my labour with Eadie.
Daniel quickly rang the photographer-who lived 45 minutes away from the hospital.
hospital photo meeting new sibling first time
They asked if I wanted to change positions so I jumped up onto my knees, leaning on the top of the bed which was folded upright.

From here I really started pushing, it burnt! Because I had a local anestetic with Eadie, I didn’t actually feel those things. I thought the burning was me tearing, I was convinced in my mind my vagina was ripping open.
“Well done Ruby, we can see the head, a couple more pushes”-you can see the head already I thought!?
newborn first nappy change
I pushed again “Well done Ruby, you’re doing a really good job, your babies head is out, one more big push to get the shoulders out and you’re done”-I actually couldn’t believe it, I know she said I was 15 minutes off but this is crazy I thought!
I pushed again, “POP”-okay, that was definitely my vagina tearing! and then I felt this warm, slimy thing fall out of me.
Like I said above, I never felt any of that with Eadie because I was numb, she was just lifted up on to me after a push, I didn’t feel her actually come out.
I remember grabbing Daniels arm and hugging it in relief. I’ve done it I thought.
It was now 5.30pm-2 and a half hours since they put the drip in!
They told me to roll over and put her onto my stomach. I was shaking from all the adrenaline.
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“Do you know what your baby is?” the Midwife asked
“No” I said
The midwife pulled the towel back, exposing what I thought was a little penis and big swollen blue testicles.
“A boy!” I said-I knew it was a boy, I just knew it!
“No, a girl….” she said, opening up her legs and exposing her female genitals….it was the belly button and umbilical cord I had seen….awks!
Daniel told me later that night that he was so excited when I said she was a boy.
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breastfeeding latch
I pulled her up closer to my chest and put her on my breast to feed.
I told Daniel to message my Mum and bring Eadie up-if the photographer missed the birth, I was at least going to capture the first moments of Eadie meeting her little sister.
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During this time I ‘gave birth’ to the placenta-anyone that tells you the pain stops as soon as the baby is here is lying!
You continue to have contractions, and they hurt equally as much as the real things!

“Ruby, we’re going to have to stitch you up now-you’re going to need the gas again” the Midwife said.
Gas? I never needed the gas when they stitched me up with Eadie?
But again, I had already had a local before this point with Eadie-so being stitched up didn’t hurt at all.
But my god this time it did!
They had to clean the area before giving me a local, my poor torn open vagina was now roughly being wiped with what felt like the worlds coarsest face washer!
Then the local anesthetic, which hardly worked because I could still feel the stitches going in!
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“I’ve gotta do it, I’ve gotta look” Daniel said-going down the ‘business end’ as he calls it.
He never looked with Eadie, and didn’t throughout the actual birth of Dottie-but when I’m torn apart, blood everywhere, legs spread right open and being stitched up-that’s when he decided was the right time to look!?
“Aww yuck! You’ve got a vaganus!”
Thank you Daniel, thank you…..

It was around this time that the photographer walked in, and not long after my Mum arrived too with Eadie. I told them to tell my Mum to wait outside while I was being stitched up.
The photographer took a few images, and then an hour later Daniel went out and got Eadie.
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She was a little confused about this lady in the room with a camera, and kept looking at her with this awkward smile.
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She wasn’t overly fussed with Dot, she pointed to her-then just wanted to play with the big exercise ball in the room.
Dottie was still covered in the lovely birthing juices and wasn’t dressed yet, so she didn’t get to hold her.
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She wasn’t fussed when she had to leave either, she happily gave us a kiss goodbye and ran out the door with her Nanna.
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The midwives went to their dinner break, and our photographer said she’d wait around for the weighing and measuring etc. since she missed the birth.
I think they were gone for 2 hours!
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They finally come back and did all of the measuring and weighing.
Daniel put her first nappy on (also the only one he’s done to this date) and dressed her.
The photographer took a couple more images then left.
Dottie’s face was so swollen and blue by now from having come out so quickly.
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I then got up to have a shower.
I couldn’t believe how good I felt-I was soo spun out at this point with Eadie.
I remember being in the shower and looking at my stomach, where was it!?
It had gone down so much compared to with Eadie-I was expecting the complete opposite being my second child, I thought my body would take more time to flatten out my stomach.
dad dressing newborn baby in hospital
My postpartum bleeding was quite light compared to with Eadie too-I honestly think that drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea this pregnancy helped with everything for Dottie’s birth. How quick and easy it was, helping my uterus contract (flatten my stomach) and the postpartum bleeding!
newborn baby being dressed for first time by dad midwife hospital
Because I know you’ll all ask-I used Maternitea Capacitea from 27 weeks. This isn’t sponsored or gifted-I bought the teas myself and absolutely love them!
I’ve shared a discount code for their store before but its “TINYTONKINTALES” for anyone who missed it.
big sister kissing newborn sibling in hospital
So, I wasn’t going to share this part of my story-but I thought what the hell, it’s good for a laugh!
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5 days before Dot was born, I almost got induced.
Literally seconds away from it happening. But instead, I walked out of the hospital completely embarrassed…
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Daniel and I were trying to get things happening with the good old method of having sex.
I had a coughing fit and started to leak a little bit of wee which wasn’t uncommon for me being heavily pregnant. I got up and raced to the toilet, but it kept coming, dripping down my legs. I got to the toilet and did a huge wee-even though I had no urge to do so beforehand.
Was that my waters I wondered?
No, it couldn’t be, and if it was it would continue to leak which it didn’t-so I didn’t think much more of it.
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The next morning I started googling your waters breaking-I read that they could break, but then your baby could block the hole so no more liquid would come out-but your baby could be exposed to bacteria and you needed to be put on antibiotics. I started worrying, and rang the hospital. They told me to come in straight away with my bags.
So I called my Mum to look after Eadie and she come and dropped me off at the hospital.
three generations of women in hospital after baby birth
Once I got there, they hooked me up to the CTG and monitored the baby for a while. They then checked internally to see whether my waters had broken (boy is that invasive!)
Legs spread wide open, a huge lamp glaring in, and that lovely instrument called a speculum (I had to google that) popped in to open you nice and wide so the Dr can see in. They weren’t quite sure whether they had broken or not-they said it sort of looked like it had been ‘washed out’. They took a swab-which I think was the Obstetricians first time of doing so as he was talked step by step through it by the midwife. They said they’d know the reading in 5 minutes. They must of been busy because they didn’t come back for about an hour.
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“Your waters have broken Ruby, we’re going to induce you”
They put a cannula in my hand and administered a course of antibiotics because of the GBS positive.
They were waiting for a couple of other women on the ward to push their babies out, then they could start the induction.
I told Daniel to stay at work (he was actually at the pub I found out later) until I knew when it was happening.
dad dressing fresh newborn baby in hospita
4 hours went past, and a change over of staff. I was due for another course of antibiotics, and once they were done they were starting the induction through the drip. I told Daniel to start making his way up to the hospital.
The new nurses were drawing up the medications and one asked if I had had anymore of my waters come out.
“No, nothing! That’s why I originally thought it was just wee…”
She asked me to relay what had happened the night before and then she said “Yeah that does sound like it was just wee….”
The older midwife was looking at me the whole time I was telling what had happened, then she said “Have you had sex in the last 24 hours?”
“Yes, last night” I said
“Ahhh, we’ll be back” they said, leaving me in the room.
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2 minutes later they walked back in with the Obstetrician
“We have been sitting out there scratching our heads trying to work out why nothing more has happened since last night-and now it all makes sense. If you’ve had sex recently, the semen can give us a false positive reading, and can also give that washed out look-I’ll take another look, I’ve done this hundreds of times and I’ll be able to tell straight away from looking whether or not it was your waters”-this was a different Obstetrician then what was on in the morning.
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So there I am again, legs spread wide open, not one, but two lamps this time shining right in.
“Nope that’s not your waters, that’s just semen. You can go home”
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KILL ME NOW!

I’ve just spent 8 hours in hospital to be told my waters hadn’t broken, that it was just semen….
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I had to wait for them to discharge me and do a little paper work, I rang Daniel to tell him I wasn’t being induced.
He absolutely wet himself laughing.
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“That’s f*%king brillant!” he said.

Oh, and when I went in to actually be induced, when they got my paperwork out they had seen I had been in a few days earlier, and one of the midwives said
“Oh yes, I heard about you”-of course you did. I bet the whole ward was laughing at me!
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Thanks for reading.

I hope you got a bit of a laugh out of my story.

If you haven’t yet given birth-don’t take my birthing story of Dot as what’s to expect-because it was a breeze compared to Eadie.

Ruby xx

6 thoughts on “Dottie’s Birth

  1. Oh Ruby! 1st thanks for the few giggles πŸ˜‚ especially the last little bit, you poor thing! Also we must coffee and chat birthing experiences as it sounds like we had super similar outcomes! Im so glad to hear Dottie welcomed into the world in such a delightful way for you! Xx

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  2. I never felt my first come out either, that lovely local for an episiotomy. Also had the same issues and then an infection from it.
    You think they’d have ask re sex in the first place, sigh.
    Glad round two was easier recovery wise and you still got beautiful photos.

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  3. I am so glad you had a different amazing experience with Dottie!! I do believe our bodies and our minds are so different 2nd time round and that those who had a somewhat bad experience first, do in fact redeem themselves with #2!
    (Maybe it’s to encourage us to go for #3!)

    Loved reading your story! And love the photos!

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