The Not So Joyful Parts Of Pregnancy

“How are you feeling?”
-one of the questions you’re constantly being asked when pregnant.

For me, I always answer
“yeah good thanks!”
because I am good-I am growing a healthy baby and overall have had a normal pregnancy.
I never want to whinge and complain about the minor uncomfortable things that every women experiences during pregnancy because I’m pregnant and that’s expected.

It wasn’t until the other day, as I was sitting there aching, tired, moody and teary that I started thinking about all of those little things us women deal with through pregnancy that we either don’t speak about because its waaay TMI for others, or because it’s just a normal thing for you to be feeling because well, you’re pregnant…

So, here I go-sharing all the not so great things about being pregnant, the TMI and all.

Lets start with when you first wake up-that dreadful climb out of bed, which you’ve done 12 times overnight anyway to use the toilet!
You’ve got to awkwardly un-wedge that pregnancy pillow from between your legs that took you forever to get in the correct position to start with, your legs are most likely dead from loss of circulation too, or stiff still from the cramping you’ve endured throughout the night (which alongside giving birth is one of the most painful things ever!).
Then you’ve got to try roll that heavy stomach over to the side of the bed as your back aches, pelvis clicks and your round ligaments pull-but don’t move too quickly because you’ll feel light headed and probably topple over.

You head to the toilet, feeling like your bladder is about to burst (and sometimes it leaks before you even get there!) and lets not even get started on needing to do a poo!
With the pregnancy vitamins, or just pregnancy itself it can be hard enough trying to get a poo out-but you can’t sit for too long on the toilet because you’ll lose circulation down your legs causing pins and needles-and good luck trying to get back up off that toilet once that’s happened!
Or if you’re like me and have a toddler, the whole entire house has probably been trashed during that toilet break-if they aren’t in the toilet with you trying to wipe your bum that is…..

Lets move onto breakfast!
You’re starving! But also kind of nauseous…
You feel like something sweet, but also savory. But you kind of don’t feel like eating at all-and this isn’t just breakfast, it’s every meal of the day!

Shower Time!
Usually a nice hot shower is a luxury-but not so much when you’re pregnant-its an absolutely work out!
The hot steam makes it even harder to breathe, kneeling down and then back up again to try shave your legs is exhausting, and lets not even talk about other areas of our body that we can no longer see!
Daniel walked in on me the other day while showering and stated that I should really do something about ‘down there’
My response-unless you’re going to help me out mate, it’s not gunna happen!

Getting dressed is also another workout, you’re out of breathe, it hurts your pelvis to stand on one leg to put your undies or pants on, and each day that passes you’re growing out of another item of clothing-so there’s about 5 outfit changes to find something that actually fits and works together.

Now that you’re dressed and have headed out, you’re already looking for a toilet to release your bladder as soon as your arrive from the drive there.
Once you find one you’re then on the hunt for a chair because if you don’t sit down again soon, you actually think your uterus might fall out of your vagina!
Is that seat going to be near air conditioning or a fan?
Because you’re already overheating and you’ve only just stepped out of the cool car, and once you start sweating you’re going to chafe up!

Also, have my waters just broken, or are they leaking a little?
Or maybe I’m bleeding? Oh god please don’t be bleeding!
Something doesn’t quite feel right down there, so you find that toilet again-oh no its all good, its just the normal pregnancy hormones doing there thing!
Time for another underwear change…

You run into someone you know who asks you the exact same pregnancy questions every other person does.
“How much longer have you got to go?”
“Are you starting to get tired?”
Starting too?
The whole darn pregnancy sucks the energy out of you, but that’s normal and you just carry on with daily life and your chores because….you’re pregnant

“Are you making sure you’re resting?”
Yeah, after I’ve finished chasing after a toddler for 12 hours of the day, done all the housework, ran errands, cooked all the meals for the day, packed lunches for the next day-and for me who works afternoons, finished my shift for the day.

“You need to rest, the housework will still be there tomorrow”
Bloody oath it will be, because no one else is going to do it!
and No, I am not going to leave it because that only makes it pile up to an even bigger job for tomorrow.

Body Changes.
Everyone can see that belly slowly popping out more and more each time they see you-‘You’re looking amazing!’

But what they don’t see is everything else that happens to your body.
The hair growth-which towards the end of your pregnancy is way too difficult to even maintain, plus the now added extra areas like your stomach and nipples that need some maintenance too!
You’re nipples are also now really dark and getting bigger every day, your vagina is so puffy and swollen you need to go up another size in underwear before your vagina actually eats them!
The stretch marks, some you can see-some you can’t.
I don’t think it was until after I had Eadie and when my stomach had gone down that I noticed I had stretch marks all over my pubic area!
Oh and skin tags! Not only is my body growing a baby inside of it, its also growing little lumps of skin on the outside too.

Just last week while having a prenatal appointment, lying on the bed I said to my Dr “umm, while I’m up here, can you please look at my backside-I’ve got a growth”
So there I was, awkwardly rolling over onto my side and spreading my cheeks wide open to ensure my little friend growing was all normal.
(all is okay guys, and it can be removed once baby is born FYI)

Now, while we’re on the topic of Drs appointments-they are pretty standard….until you get towards the end of the third trimester and they start getting a bit invasive.
GBS swab-yep no worries, you swipe that cotton bud down my vagina and across my butthole (my first pregnancy I had a young male student complete the task, while being overlooked by my male gyno just to make it even more awkward!)
Also the pain of those large male hands digging into your pubic bone to try and feel where the babies head is-I also had students being trained while this was happening, so once I had endured that pain once, the gyno would then ask the student to do the same thing so he could feel too.
Then there’s the internals-the glove goes on, that cold lube and up goes a hand!
I will never forget the pain of that happening, while having a contraction with my gyno inside me! I actually thought my vagina was going to clamp his hand and it’d be stuck in there forever!
As he pulled away he laughed,
“I think you might of just had a contraction then”
-well I’m glad you found that funny!
“There’s tissues there on the bench”
they always state as they walk back out to their desk, and you’re left lying there to clean the mess up between your legs, and awkwardly dress your bottom half again then proceed back out to the desk, underwear still full of that gooey gel.
Kind of sounds like how you got yourself into this position in the first place really…..

I feel like I could go on and on for hours about all the messed up things us pregnant women have to deal with.

Daniel said to me a while back
‘This really is going to be your last pregnancy isn’t it?’

‘Why!?‘ I asked

‘Well it’s been a lot harder then Eadie’s hasn’t it?’

Yes, it’s been a much different experience this time around-I had morning sickness this time for 4 months, back/groin/hip issues and pain, low iron, and I’ve been a lot more hormonal/emotional.

But just because I complain about these things at times-does not mean I am not enjoying the journey. I love being pregnant!

Absolutely nothing can top that feeling of your baby moving inside of you.

Plus once your pregnancy is over-they grow so darn quick it feels like a lifetime ago they were even inside of you!

Some people really struggle to conceive, some people can’t even have children of their own, some people are extremely ill their whole entire pregnancy and can’t get out of bed.

I am one of those lucky people who have a normal, healthy pregnancy journey.

So I’m not complaining when I write this, or speak about any of the things my body or mind is going through throughout this journey-I am simply talking about it so that others can relate, so that we don’t feel alone (especially with those embarrassing, TMI things!)
I don’t know how many hours I’ve spent on google searching those messed up things, sighing with relief when I find a forum of a heap of other women who are having the same thing happen to them! (there’s still things I couldn’t even write about in this post because it’s too embarrassing)

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading (and I didn’t make you cringe too much)

I hope some of you might find a bit of relief knowing you’re not alone with some of the things I have shared.

Thanks for reading,

Ruby xx